Plumblers, Parties and MRIs oh my!

My cousin and I are going to a concert after trick or treating tonight. Normally I would never dream of going out on Halloween unless it was kid involved but giving the past month life has dealt me and the fact my favorite band is playing in out state, right up the street from my house, for the first time Im not sure even life could keep me from going. Since its on Halloween its a dress up thing and we are going as Mario and Luigi!


I sewed the jumpers from duck cloth so they would be a little stiff in the A frame. then we painted home depot paper paint hats and added our shirt and our converse because yes they are our own shoes we had and how freaking perfect (on a side note this is the first pair of leggings I have ever owned and I dont ever want to take them off and while I still refuse to wear skinny jeans or anything called a Jegging, im pretty happy about leggings)





Party Clean up is 80% done, the rest of the stuff can stay up for the kids to enjoy tonight. And the mose important news..... Dangers EEG and MRI were both normal. So we go see the neurologist on the 7th and hopefully we wont have any more episodes!

Nightmare before christmas halloween party

Saturday night we threw our 3rd annual kids Halloween party. It was the crazy most off the wall time yet! (Good and bad) This years theme was Nightmare Before Christmas. We had to convince our 4 year old it would be harder to get little girls to come to her 5th birthday if it was NBC so she reluctantly gave it up to Halloween. But it turns out it was a great idea. After months of planning and looking around on the Internet and realizing not many people throw NBC parties and write about them I set off with a note book full of awesomeness... unfortunately family trauma plagued October which left us with no time for my awesomeness and a bunch of scrambled put together craziness. But it turns out those hours I spent planning awesome games like a wall balloon dart pop jack face and a 3 legged stocking race wernt needed because all the kids wanted to do was eat junk food and play in the playroom. We did do the bob for donut game but it was even disorganized and stupid, but the kids still are talking about it so I will chalk that one up to happy for sugared donuts ;) we had bought skeletons to have a put the bones together relay, however the only kids that wanted to play were the really small ones and with no parent participation it was a mess, but they all got prizes and i have 4 colorful skeletons for next year. I would love to show you pictures of all these but my camera went missing during the party... amongst other things...
The food was pretty awesome. We made dipped Halloween Oreo pops with twislers for Sally.


We did Oreo cake balls of Jacks face (but the food coloring pens stopped working!!) FAIL


We did inside out S'more reindeer's


veggie Christmas trees and pumpkins. We made spaghetti (for our vegan vegetarian friends)snowman Jack pizza, and worm hot dogs. We did deviled eggs and meat roll ups. I was surprised how fast the brownie bites with strawberry Santa hats went. And the fresh fruit the kids inhaled. (Good sign)There were mini cup cakes and sugar cookies and Dr. finklestein (I ran out of time for his glasses) jello brain.



My favorite element was Oogie Boogie. I sewed him out of burlap. I left an opening in him and filled it with gummy worms and gummy bugs and this was the favorite at the table for sure.


The house looked awesome adorned with out traditional Halloween decorations and 10 Halloween decorated christmas trees. I painted the mayor tree out of a broken lamp shade. It was the best tree I think.









We had a craft table for the kids to make treat bags and bat ornaments. The kids were so creative I was totally jealous of most the ones that went home. We bought 3 packs of 12 ornaments at the dollar store and spray painted them black. Added a Halloween colored ribbon hanger and the kids foam sticked, googly eyed, and pipe cleaner ed them. We had lots more then just bats and spiders be made and my kids have since made about more. For good favors I made crayons out of a pumpkin mold I bought at the dollar store. The kids were nuts for these too. So Hats off to October for kicking my butt, but for not letting my lack of what should have been at the party be evident. 29 kids in all showed up about the 20 adults and boy am I still one tired mom!!

And these are my little trick or treaters. Captain America, Harry Potter, Sally from NBC, and a little scary crow ;)

Poor Danger

My life has been turned upside down alot this October. I wish I could shut my eyes and just turn it off, maybe a short vacation from reality. Today we had to get a EEG done on Danger. He had two seizures in the last two weeks. Im not a patient person, so not being able to know if they learned anything from the test today is really stressing me out. Googling things doesnt help. It only makes it much worse, you want to know what else makes it worse, when something you say that doesnt seem important sparks something in the doctor (or technicians) eyes. Night Terrors. Danger has been starting them the last few months. His sister had them from 9 months to 3 years, and only every now and again now. He perked up as soon as I casually mentioned it. That didnt help, and google didnt help. Now im waiting. We have to go in for an MRI on Tuesday. Part of me really wants an answer because seeing my baby have a seizure is by far the worst thing I have ever seen in my life, but I also dont want the answer to be bad news. We have been so lucky with our 4 kids. They all have little things wrong but nothing Major. Nothing that would make you stop in the middle of the store and just start crying for. All I know if I feel like life is just running on and dragging me behind it. I suddenly feel like I have no control over anything. I know its more likely that it will turn out that nothing is wrong, but I cant stop remembering when EVERY SINGLE PERSON told me that our first pregnancy would be fine, because "those blood tests always come back false positive" EVERY SINGLE ONE was wrong. Then when Brother Bear wouldnt talk, He wasnt find like EVERY ONE said he had a speech disorder, which they just recently diagnosed as Aspergers. When EVERY ONE keeps saying sister is fine, when you look at her in toeing and crippling toes and KNOW shes not. I just feel like im the only one who doesnt get the "false positive" and the crappy thing is I know there are parents out there fighting for their children to live though and incurable disease and im all wacked out and I dont even know anything yet. Thank you blogger for letting me say this out loud, well in my head but my fingers are saying it because I feel like if I open my mouth im letting life keep moving and Im to scared to fallow it not knowing the answers. I think I need a drink :)

my dad

Im not sure my blog is the place for this but its ny blog and it is whatever my life wants it to be. Today my dad died. Im still waiting for it to hit me. Maybe it wont. My life is the typical drug addicted separated parents who later got cleaned and married leaving my life riddled with half, step and unknown about siblings. Also with step parents. Mine is more of the snowwhite variety. (She would off me with an apple if she could) so the past 3 years my own dad kept himself from my life because he didn't want to ruffle her feathers while he died. He came over about 5the months ago and met his grand children. A small man I didn't even recognize. Then nothing. Then he died. And I don't know when its gunna hit me. Maybe it wont. Maybe I wont cry and feel alone. Cause he has been dead in a since for a long time. I don't want the sad time to be masked by my anger towards my step mom because she is now alone, by alone I mean with het kids that got to spend the rest of my dads life with him while I was asked to not call him. Im sure if I would have shown up on his porch everyday they would have eventually let me in. But I shouldn't have had to beg. My kids are to young to understand, about him dieing and him even being alive, and for that I am thankful because they didn't need to feel abandoned either. Or to be under appreciated next to step cousins who got to enjoy their grandpa. Im really not sure it will ever hit me. But before he was forbidden to see me he was my dad. HE showed up on Christmases and sometimes birthdays. When I was 4 he showed up with some girl and had me paint my name on his truck with finger nail polish. When I was 6 he got sober and threw me a party (in feburary) for my birthday. When I was 214 he walked me down the aisle, telling me I could turn and run and he would cover me the whole way down. I have some good memories that I will tell my kids when the ask about their grandpa, I will keep locked inside the rest because they will no longer have the power to make me feel like me being here is wrong. I love you dad and the dad you were when you wanted to be my dad will be missed.