Today was one of those days where I didnt want to get out of bed because of the dream I had was so good. Taking me back to when things were simple and my plate was almost empty and my friends list was a mile long. I miss those days sometimes.. not that I dont love my life but I miss those days when I didnt have to be anything to anyone and could be anyone to everyone. But I wake up late for school with pack backs and lunches to get ready and grumpy kids to boot. I was having a bad morning, on the verge of tears, just not a good morning. Putting that I need a change song on repeat
One Thing I Know
Randy Rogers Band
Woke up today and things had changed.
The man I’ve become just ain’t the same.
Wanted to run but there was just nowhere to go.
Living in a dream world, praying it don’t show.
Cause who I am, is who you want me to be
But I’m having a hard time, finding me.
Well take my hand darling, won’t you let me go
Gotta do this by myself, that’s one thing I know.
Living my life on low-fuel,
Telling myself that I’m a damn fool.
All of my friends up in Fort Worth tell me how I’m brave,
Little do you know I almost lost it yesterday.
Cause who I am, is who they want me to be
But I’m having a hard time, finding me.
Well take my hand darling, won’t you let me go
Gotta do this by myself, that’s one thing I know.
I’ve got these demons on my trail.
Crazy and messed up, but no one else can tell…
Cause who I am, is who you want me to be
But I’m having a hard time, finding me.
Well take my hand darling, won’t you let me go
Gotta do this by myself, that’s one thing I know.
Gotta do this all alone, that’s one thing I know.
Those bold lines are the ones that echo in my head sometimes. So I preped for Brooklyns party, got list ready for the cookie party, ended up with a friends kid for the afternoon, the got double daycare kids and then no one paid me today... UGHHHHHHHHH ... then I got a facebook message from someone on my list. This woman is truely an awesome person. She always leave me sweet comments and like my crafty habits I share and she has taken my Late 27 days of 27 challenge to heart. She has donated her time and money and brought glove and blankets to the needy. But today she reminded me that even tho my day is sucky and sometimes I look at my life and feel like I am doing crazy inside myself all the time, there is people worse off and I need to count my blessing. There is a man at her work with a sick wife and 2 kids, and this has been really hard on them this year. Because of my challenge she and her husband gave their holiday bonuses to this man. I honestly cried at her generosity. We all have our off days, but from now on I will wake up with my alarm clock and count those 4 little heart beats that keep me going. Im blessed and I pray that Leah and her her husband are blessed for their random act of unbelievable kindness. And that that man has a small weight lifted off his shoulders and is able to see all he does have even when times are tough.
That made me teary. Amazing.
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