Conflicted

Im tired of life lately... something good needs to find its way in. The charter school we were able to get Justin into this year stinks... and although i have applied else where it seems we might be stick there for 2nt grade. :( I have been praying for a better option but so far we are 20ish, 30ish and 40ish on other schools list. Also what I thought would be a benefit of the school not getting out until July 22 (which educationally I think it great) I have found watching everyone else we know get out of school really stink to be stuck in school. If that were not hard pressing enough we lost our daughters preschool teacher, a woman who we both loved dearly, to a staffing change. They told us on Tuesday and she was gone by Thursday now my daughter will start summer session in a new classroom with new kids, which might be a blessing but now she is adamant she doesn't want to go... change is hard for that one. Poor me I have just been an emotional ball of tears the last few weeks. It REALLY DOES NOT HELP that I realized im at a way unhealthy weight right now (169 eeekkk) and have been on a self imposed diet (which just involves eating better and not so much all day long) and running on the treadmill at nap time and tring to get exercise when I can... I miss chocolate and soda and chips and donuts, yuumy cream or jelly filled donuts :( But most of all I miss starbucks, my 1200 calorie java chip that never did me wrong... stupid scale. And then there is my husband. I love the man dearly I really do but he has a crazy ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. He is pretty unsupportive unless he can see the insent gratification. Although my blog doesnt really show how involved with crafting I really am because I dont stick to it the way I want to (although 4 kids, a daycare, and photography business are great excesses) I have been thinking seriously about doing a few Christmas bazaars this years. I think What I make is good enough, however with 4 kids, a daycare and a photography business, it makes justifying my passion to do this a little more difficult for this man to understand. I guess im just conflicted about what I should do next. Granted I still have lots of time till the holiday season but I just wish for once things would just fall into place. Its hard to work so hard with out seeing a positive reward sometimes. .... maybe I deserve a tall java chip today... :(